Weird feelings

Whenever I see you, I tend to get some kind of mysterious feelings that I am filled with contentment and anticipations.

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I want to go back to the past
and make a trip down memory lane,
with my heart noting your absence
it will never be the same as before.

I forgot the feeling of getting lost. I cannot enjoy the joy. I have completely lost the concept of peace. I try to maintain myself but the actions go by. I want to hold my heart but it keeps on fleeing. I want to stop my thoughts but thoughts form its own autonomy. The brain that once used to be the powerhouse of my body is now of no more functions. I get a feeling that I am walking with my one eyes closed, its blur, fogs making it worst, with the cold creeping in I get a feeling of agony in my heart. 

I try to concentrate on one thing and the result becomes just the opposite, for instant, I am thinking about a book in front of me and my thoughts disappears from it, goes somewhere else where my heart wants to be, where I belong to and where I have longed for. There is a place somewhere in between those love and hatred. I do not desire love anymore, I prefer something less, I do not wish hatred either, and I prefer something better. If heaven thinks, I have suffered enough, I would wish to go to that place where I belong. If heaven is not satisfied with my pain, with my loneliness, I promise to take all my share of suffering with my heart open.

He wore a Mask

He wore a mask of Cheerfulness

Just as we wear those fake smiles,

To hide the frustrations that seems inevitable

And tries to calm his flimsy heart,

Which is forced to enter into the realm of darkness.

I have seen him several times lost in his thoughts,

I bet he is suffering from love sick

I can see those eyes covered with tears,

I heard him scream, I saw him going insane

how bad would he be feeling?

He met a girl supposed to be from heaven he says

but it all proved just another story

To feel better he wears his mask of bliss

Just to fool himself of his doomed love.

There is a room filled with shadows

he says he is afraid of those evils inside

they threatens him to trap inside

he is afraid; he may be the next prey.

He says, he prayed so much for this to last long.

Curiosity forces him to look deep in her eyes

what once was bliss has changed

and the world seems problematic,

He wishes to pass his past

He desires to make her true

But he wonders if she will ever be true.

Those endless talks still lingers in his mouth

those ceaseless chats are still fresh in his mind

but his kismet was not esteeming his love,

she never understood the intensity of his love.

But he admits, it is not her fault either

he says he failed to prove his faithfulness,

he failed to convince his love for her,

his unbiased love is defeated gloomily.

The New Year

With the New Year approaching, the countdown is soon going to commence. The time has come to bid farewell to the present year and welcome the New Year. While on this beautiful eve when I sit on my regular chair and open facebook to see the updates, I do not feel good, it feels wrong to be in room tonight, it gives me the bad feeling of being here. I see people updating their status in facebooks wishing prosperous year. I see them updating their plans for the New Year. I can picture how excited people are with their loved ones accompanying them, I am sure they are going to party this eve. 

In a glimpse of time, twenty thirteen has ended and as I look back, I see I have done nothing but then grown one year older. I can see myself became old but I have achieved very little to be happy of bidding farewell to this year. I promised so many things to myself when this year started, but the result I see is much less and unexpected. But, then I feel good in some ways because the year has gone very swiftly, I did not get sick and I was fine both mentally and physically. 

At this point of time when the New Year is just on the threshold, I promise to myself to be good and to do good. I have nothing much as a resolution for this New Year because I know I will not be able to achieve so, I wish I can be good to others and do well to others.

And yes, I miss my dear tonight. I, on the other hand, am sitting on my chair with a cup of hot water, reading the updates on the facebooks and twitter, and wishing I could be one of those lucky people who are going to the party this eve. How I wish I could be there with my beautiful girl tonight, holding her hand and asking her for the eve. I want to empty my pocket tonight. I want to take her to the party tonight and spend every penny I got in my pocket. Such occasions makes one miss ones beloved so much more than the other days.

I see her in pain

The child out of his stupidity and innocence grabbed the running car that resulted a minor injury to his leg. His elder sister who is few years older than him saw the incident and comes home rushing, only to bring the dreadful news to the mother. She exaggerates the facts and says that his leg fell under a running car whereby he got hurt seriously. Instantly the mother gets shocked, she gets alarmed, tears falls down her soft cheek as she roughly stands up to run to the spot. As she runs forward, she sees her son there smiling to her. Her boy is in pain she knows that but the boy still smiles because he is afraid of his stupidity and he fears that his mother may beat him. But then the mother still continues to cry, may be now the reason is different, different because now she drops her tears out of contentment that her son is not injured much like she thought.

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When she gets there, I do not know the reason behind but then she started to beat him, he is already injured a little and on addition, the mother starts beating him. I wonder what she was doing. As she beats her son, I can see her in pain but I wonder what kind of pain is she having? May be she was angry at his stupidity or maybe she was happy that he isn’t injured much and out of anxiety she is beating him. Interestingly, after she beats her son, she holds his hand takes him home, makes him seat near her and she cooks his favourite dish for him. The child eats the food and forgets all his pain and in a moment, you will find him smiling again and going back to the field to play. 

The answers are all hidden in her; mothers are very difficult to understand. Their way of thinking is completely different, it is difficult for us to understand them in times but we know there love and care for us. We know how much they worry for us, we know how much boundless is their love for us, we know how important are they for us. From the moment, we are conceived in their womb they started to take care of us. As a mother, they did not let us be burned by fire, they did not let us to be washed away by rivers, and they have always been watching us with intense love and care.

P.S

I love you so much mother.

We are Happy

It is a beautiful day today. The promising sun has already brightened my village before my wake and the clouds are disappearing with the each brightening rays falling over them. I can hardly see the moon. I can feel the gentle air blowing around me. It is a beautiful Wednesday morning, promising me the luck for a day and making me realize that I am one day older than the previous day.

How promising my village looks today? I wonder if there is any place more beautiful than this, I wonder if United States for that matter can be compared with my village. I feel proud to say that we are happy and we have everything that a man would need for survival.

With the grace of mighty god, due to the kindness of his majesty and owing to the luck of people, we have everything, everything that a man needs in life. We have homes to sleep, we have foods to eat, we have cloths to wear and all those necessary items that a man need, just like the people in United States would be having. Starting from medical facilities, educations, and communications, we get everything. In addition, the interesting fact is that unlike United States, here in Bhutan we get “free” education and medical facilities which makes Bhutan a better place to live in. What more do a man need?

Yes, I forgot, they are advanced, well developed and the standard of life is much higher than ours. They have made so much of inventions that Bhutan will take another century to make it up to them but then we are happy, that is all I would say. However, we have our own share of beauty, which we care a lot and feel proud to have it. That is the “PEACE” we have the natural environment we live in is so promising and fresh that our minds and hearts are always kept pleased and blissful.

With such a beauty that we hold, we get number of tourist visiting our country every year and upon asking the reason to visit our country they answer, they come here to see the beauty of our land. They visit to see what they have not seen and it is a matter of pride that we host them. I am proud to be Bhutanese and we are happy.

As I move North

As I gaze outside,
I see myself getting closer.
With winds blowing, so fast
I feel frightened.
so, to ease my flimsy mind
I try to get sleep which seems inconceivable
for I am excited to see home.

Journey seems traceless
but my mind is set for the target.

As I move north
I feel safe,
it keeps me reminding that I am on my way
As I move, further
I feel colder, signifying home,
Home that I have longed for days.

When the train stops on station
I see people with patient less faces
wanting all to hop in
Now and then, we see seller’s
with sweets, tea, fruits and cold drinks and so on,
shouting their possession to be passed on
as I grape one and swallow
it gives me the fervour to stay awake

With each passing second
I feel closer
my nerve gets the information
that I am not much far from home.

Thoughts are surrounded by parents,
my love escorts them
with my sisters awaiting together
I dream my family standing there,
and all I need is to be there, together.

My another Mother

I feel blessed to have you,
With all those love and care for me,
Heaven gifted me with another mother,
I feel safe, secured and protected.

I have seen our mother in you,
You have inherited everything of our mother,
You remind me of her,
I feel like having another mother,
Yes, I do have two mothers,
and I bow to you both and ask you for your eternal love and care.

From toe to head,
From heart to brain,
I see mother in you,
It is needless to admit that you resemble her,
For you are my second mother.

The looks, the manners and everything,
Just reminds me of our mother.
I love you my sister,
You have always been the best answer.

I thank you with all my heart,
I might have been rough in times,
But you made things much simple
You were my best friend, my best sister and my another mother,
I love you so much.