Saturday 25 January 2014

Weird feelings

Whenever I see you, I tend to get some kind of mysterious feelings that I am filled with contentment and anticipations.

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I want to go back to the past
and make a trip down memory lane,
with my heart noting your absence
it will never be the same as before.

I forgot the feeling of getting lost. I cannot enjoy the joy. I have completely lost the concept of peace. I try to maintain myself but the actions go by. I want to hold my heart but it keeps on fleeing. I want to stop my thoughts but thoughts form its own autonomy. The brain that once used to be the powerhouse of my body is now of no more functions. I get a feeling that I am walking with my one eyes closed, its blur, fogs making it worst, with the cold creeping in I get a feeling of agony in my heart. 

I try to concentrate on one thing and the result becomes just the opposite, for instant, I am thinking about a book in front of me and my thoughts disappears from it, goes somewhere else where my heart wants to be, where I belong to and where I have longed for. There is a place somewhere in between those love and hatred. I do not desire love anymore, I prefer something less, I do not wish hatred either, and I prefer something better. If heaven thinks, I have suffered enough, I would wish to go to that place where I belong. If heaven is not satisfied with my pain, with my loneliness, I promise to take all my share of suffering with my heart open.

Saturday 11 January 2014

He wore a Mask

He wore a mask of Cheerfulness
Just as we wear those fake smiles,
To hide the frustrations that seems inevitable
And tries to calm his flimsy heart,
Which is forced to enter into the realm of darkness.

I have seen him several times lost in his thoughts,
I bet he is suffering from love sick
I can see those eyes covered with tears,
I heard him scream, I saw him going insane
how bad would he be feeling?

He met a girl supposed to be from heaven he says
but it all proved just another story
To feel better he wears his mask of bliss
Just to fool himself of his doomed love.

There is a room filled with shadows
he says he is afraid of those evils inside
they threatens him to trap inside
he is afraid; he may be the next prey.

He says, he prayed so much for this to last long.

Curiosity forces him to look deep in her eyes
what once was bliss has changed
and the world seems problematic,
He wishes to pass his past
He desires to make her true
But he wonders if she will ever be true.

Those endless talks still lingers in his mouth
those ceaseless chats are still fresh in his mind
but his kismet was not esteeming his love,
she never understood the intensity of his love.
But he admits, it is not her fault either
he says he failed to prove his faithfulness,
he failed to convince his love for her,
his unbiased love is defeated gloomily.